Have You Ever Felt Inadequate at work?

Have had several coaching calls where this topic has presented itself recently, so I wanted to take a deeper look, while also examining my own process. Have you ever told yourself any of these? Has your self-talk ever said any of these statements? Has anyone ever shared any of these with you? Have you had teammates say any of these to you? Have you ever had a coach say any of these towards you?

· You aren’t the answer

· Wish I was in his/her spot…comparison

· You're simply not good enough

· Do I add value here

· I’m not ready for this role or responsibility

· These challenges are too much

· Cannot believe I messed that up

Well, I’d make a stance that most of us have felt this way at some point in our careers. When I look back at my career thus far, I can say I have felt this way many times. Why do we feel that way, and what are some ways we can nullify this feeling? What are some habits we can create to not feel this way? What are some ways we can help those we lead and/or manage? Defining what this word means is a great place to start.

Inadequate: lacking the quality or quantity required; insufficient for a purpose. The feeling that you don’t have the skills or qualities to do something or to cope with life. Perhaps I don’t measure up…not good enough, not enough.

Few moments in my life where I have felt this way:

· Leaving a terrible high school (HS) program and heading to The Ohio State University

· Being an undrafted rookie and showing up to make an NFL roster

· Getting married when both my wife and I come from divorced families

· Early struggles in school

· Sitting the bench as a freshman in HS in every sport I played

· Learning that I was becoming a parent

· Badly breaking my thumb as a sophomore in college

· Landing my first Director role

· Managing my first major capital improvement project

· Jumping out of an airplane

· Leaving the NFL to go enlist so I could serve

· Laying in a bed after my injury in Iraq, not being able to walk or talk

· Deploying overseas

· Presenting to city council for the first time

· COULD KEEP GOING…we all feel this way (How do we respond)?

What does it look like if I’m feeling this way?

· Lack of confidence / self-doubt / internal dialogue not good

· Meeting goals or expectations of role will be a challenge

· Not seeking feedback or feedback feels like an attack

· Envy of co-worker’s success rather than celebrating it

· Isolation or withdrawal from others

· Less excited about performing your duties…showing up for work gets hard

Going to share a little secret on how I have navigated self-doubt and the concept of being and/or feeling inadequate. What I have learned to do through my layers of failure and self-doubt has been to get it out of my head and heart and onto a dry erase board, word document or good old piece of paper. Start with the following…

1. What am I having self-doubt about? What is it?

2. What are my gaps here? Do I have gaps or is it feelings? Be specific…

3. Is the gap training, experience or motivation i.e., “I don’t want to do it?”

4. Give yourself a tangible goal/date to get better…accountability

Once the answers to these questions are on paper, I can then work to create “action” towards these SPECIFIC items. I can then take the answers to someone and share, discuss, which will again increase my awareness towards action. Example would be leaning in during a 1:1 with my supervisor. Does your supervisor and/or coach know you feel this way? This ties into our resilience factors and what I call “soft resilience”. Won’t go through them all but #1 is “Connection to others”, which is our ability to lean in… “How well do we connect with others?” This can be challenging and takes a level of vulnerability but once accomplished you will feel so much better and have a greater sense of CLARITY and awareness towards what was making you feel inadequate. Once gaps have been identified and turned into words, we can then create/take action towards them.

What else can I do to reduce this feeling?

1. Recognize your feelings…give/show yourself grace

2. ALWAYS remember your value…why am I on scholarship? Why was I hired?

3. Failure or process…love to look at failure as “process” WE GROW HERE

4. Tap into people who can help you…no need for drastic changes. Create small habits that will create real change.

5. Recognize if you are a “habit or hobby” employee/player? Do you practice your skills? Invest in your growth/development?

6. Stay curious and ask for feedback. Leverage your vulnerability here…HUGE TOOL

7. Again, show yourself grace. Encourage habits that foster this i.e., positive self-talk.

How to use as a tool? Lean into the (4) questions for self-discovery. Lean into these by writing out the answers for yourself and/or whomever you are helping navigate this space (this is key).  If you spend the time to navigate these questions, you will discover clarity, which will help you drive towards a reduction in feeling inadequate.