STAY IN THE FIGHT…valuable skill and how to stay present here

Failure and/or the feeling of failure is going touch us all along the journey…can guarantee that! This topic has been gracing many of my recent talks with folks, so I thought I’d share a bit here. How do we respond when things aren’t going great? How aware are we that “we are in the process” most often when these things take place? The process of growth, development is and can be hard. Have you ever said any of these statements to yourself along your process? Early on in my life I was told, “Stay in the fight young man.” That phrase has always stuck with me…through good and bad. This phrase has been that mental reminder, that habit builder to get over myself and try again, push harder, explore longer, get more curious, stay encouraged, believe, rethink it, etc. Years ago, I found myself defining this to aide myself through challenges. We will explore this phase today through this blog in efforts that maybe you can tap into this resource as well. Again, who has heard or experienced one or more of these, or said one or more of these to themselves navigating your process?

·      You’re not good enough…

·      Didn’t get the job you wanted…

·      Didn’t make the team…

·      Not the offer I wanted or envisioned…

·      I’m not confident enough…

·      Not where you wanted to be on the depth chart…

·      Not where you should be on the organizational chart…

·      Didn’t get drafted, so it’s over…

·      Things are going bad…

·      Mission cancelled…

·      Didn’t get the promotion…

·      Didn’t get funded…

·      Got hurt…

·      My marriage is broken or failed…

·      Got beat…

·      Unexpected problems…

·      Not healthy…

·      Nobody believes in you…

The idea of “staying in the fight” can be broken down a few ways as we look for a deeper understanding of this habit builder. The process of staying present here. How can I create awareness and action around the concept of “staying in the fight?”

1.     Stay patient. So many of us want it yesterday, but that’s not how things work often. We need to be reminded to stay patient in what we are, where we are and how we are doing it. Patiencegets us where we need to be…be present here. Think about a great at bat in baseball. Take as many pitches as you can, as you look for the perfect pitch to smash, but at the same time be the batter that understands there are many ways to get on base and ultimately score…stay patient and stay in the box and with each pitch your percentage of getting base increases.

2.     Trust your work. Be intentional about the work you are putting into something. What is your level of preparedness? How thought out is your work? What amount of “self-directed” work do you place into it? Are you doing prescribed work or prescribed + “self-directed” work on your own accord? Great habit here is to take the goal, the end state, the desired outcome you are working towards and get this onto paper, so you can be accountable for it. This process will help us to trust our work, trust our level of preparedness.

3.     Stay committed. Ask yourself, am I committed or just interested in what I’m chasing? It’s ok, but often we don’t ask ourselves that question…the answer can add clarity towards your end state. **Read Committed or Interested on this blog page for deeper dive. Are my actions committed or interested? When I’m committed, I’ll Stay in The Fight.

4.     Grace. Show yourself and others grace…we are so hard on ourselves, and why? Grace is a powerful skill…learn to give it to yourself and then to others. So many times, during my life, I can think back on, and I’d give that dude a big hug…tell him It’s ok, failure or you’re not good enough happens (stay in the box). This also ties into being a “confidence giver” **Read Confidence. What is it and how do I give it? Why is this a critical skill? on this blog page for deeper dive. It’s hard to give and/or show yourself grace if you can’t for others. When is the next time YOU could show grace towards someone?

5.     Your values. Know them and be accountable towards your top 5 values. Out of all the core values in life, what are YOUR TOP 5 and how accountable are you to them? Know them and visit them often…They will keep you on course.

6.     Develop resilience. Learn strategies to manage setbacks and challenges, viewing them as opportunities for growth and learning. What if I shared our ability to be resilient lies in our ability to connect with others. So much in life, on a team, in Corporate America, at home we shoulder the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences by OURSELVES. Think about how we can connect with others and how this truly taps into OUR ability to be resilient.

a.     Be available

b.     Listen

c.     Stay curious

d.     Be thoughtful

e.     Be open

f.      Be likeable

g.     Show humility

h.     Be adaptable

How to use as a tool? Review the six areas to create awareness. Define these for yourself, audit yourself on a likert scale 1-5, with 5 being the best/highest and 1 being the worst/lowest…where do you currently rank in these areas? If you have areas that are 3 or less, create action steps i.e., A1, A2, A3…These action steps should be habits, ways to be intentional in this area of your life that would make this a habit builder. Reach out and we can discuss too. I’d love to hear from you.

#stayinthefight